Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
