Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just found puke in my bra..
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
