everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
