1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
