I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
