Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
