You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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