The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I feel great
I just peed on a car
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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