Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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