Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize