How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
