dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
