they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize