Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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