I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize