Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
