I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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