I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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