Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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