She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
