I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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