Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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