super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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