ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
