she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
