i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
