I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
