she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize