Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
