No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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