you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
