The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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