I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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