It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
