How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize