Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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