I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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