I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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