Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
