I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
