Define "chronic" masturbator.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
