there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I seem to have left my pride at pride
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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