party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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