i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
