yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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