around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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