birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
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