Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Who died my cat blue again?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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