he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I touched a dick in church today
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
