I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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