on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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