I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
