this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
operation harelip BJ is a go
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
