All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize