bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
