Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
