You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
