She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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