why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
