If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
