You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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