Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
