Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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