sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
