That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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