Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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