Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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