this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
